The speaker reflects on the use of audio notes as a means to achieve a sense of catharsis and to regain focus on important tasks. They discuss their tendency to get lost in compulsive research, which hinders execution of critical tasks. Preparation for an upcoming interview and project launch is stressed, noting the need to adhere to a structured program while balancing their natural inclination for a more fluid approach to work. Acknowledging the struggle with maintaining an impartial, objective mindset, the speaker resolves to clean their room and rest to ensure a productive following day.

At the risk of not really knowing where to start, I want to draw attention to the use of audio notes as a sort of catharsis. When we spiral out of focus, or out of, I shouldn't say focus, when we spiral out of alignment with the day and move towards, or kind of throw ourselves into compulsions, which for me tends to look like too much research, too much gathering, too much kind of stepping outside of center and fielding for information, which is kind of the loss of the subject, the loss of the I, which has its own benefits, especially when it's time to explore, but if it's done as a kind of balancing force for not wanting to, just like resisting focused work or kind of execution or production, then it can really delay the inevitable. And the inevitable right now is relating a lot to the last audio message that I left, which was all about emotions and how we can, in a very misguided way, we can choose to live inside of an emotional reward and forgo the actions that are actually required of our material embodied selves. So this meandering message is actually a strategy to vibrate within the body, a vibration of, okay, let's remember what was actually significant from today before the

day ends and where we are in the rollout of a week and a month and a year.

I'm not going to go into those cycles, but I am going to probably breach the week right now. Tomorrow I have an interview and I really want to be prepared for it because it's also going to be one of the rare moments where I can interact live and have another person kind of reflect what is resonant, what is interesting and maybe where some blind spots are. So I want to be really prepared for that. And I also want to set up my space in a way that I can really look present on the camera.

So I'm not looking at my monitor and having the camera record my averted eyes. So there's a lot of kind of setup work to do for that call. And on top of it, I also have a lot that I need to do before I leave for Asia in mid-December. And that a lot includes launching my project.

And my project requires, or let's say the launch of my project requires that I have a website built. And the website requires that I have images, product images, and the product images require that I have a product. And in order to get to that point, I also need to have a direction or a very clear aesthetic that I can build towards and I have to polish up on my skills with 3D in order to execute those images. So every day is full.

There's actually a program that is the best program for me to follow, but I see myself falling out of step with that program. And it's really interesting because I know what I have to do. I just have never really been able to work in lockstep with the kind of cold intellectual plan. I'm very much a warm bodied, go with the flow type of person.

And forever, I'm trying to find that balance of structure and the kind of fire that can be generated from healthy resistance. That healthy resistance being that going with the flow is, it's not fully engaging all the capacities of being an agent in this world. And I believe that humans are agents and antennas. We are food and we are eaters.

We are a part of this materiality and we're also observers. We are, let's say, agents of karma and also observers of the whole game as well as releasers of karma. So I never want to forget that there are always three forces at play. And in me, I'm quite familiar with the, I would say, with the denying force, the kind of empty hole of possibility and potential.

I'm getting more familiar with the will. And I would say the observer, I'm good at taking distance, looking at other things. But when it comes to myself, I do have an issue kind of becoming impartial. And I would say the observer is kind of the objective mind, capital M.

So not the small ego mind, but the capital M mind that is more spectating without judgment and fully immersed in itself as a detached field of information. And that information operates regardless of what the many eyes that exist within this eye are doing. And I would like to almost superimpose upon myself and feel that information field and recognize that many times my conflation of all these different impulses can be very self-sabotaging. So I think right now what I'm going to do is I'm going to clean my room and I'm going to try and go to sleep at a relatively decent hour so that I can wake up and have a fresh day.

Today was quite all over the place, mainly because I had this whole sewing machine drama where I had to go pick it up and then wait for the delivery person. It was like four hours out of my day in total. So I am going to do that now.